A Poem About Love

I love you, she said, like I love my dog
You're perfectly devoted, you're always there
My loyal companion, with the cute floppy hair
But you'll never be something that I want to snog

I love you, she said, like a sister or brother
We have a bond that will last all our lives
Deeper and purer than husbands and wives
But it wouldn't feel right to have sex together

I love you, she said, like I love a good beer
That comfortable buzz, to end a hard day
I relax and let you soothe my stresses away
But I feel no chemistry when you stand near

I love you, she said, like I love my country
I'll forever stand by you, and cheer you on
Proud to support you in all you've done
But that doesn't mean I will grant you entry

I love you, she said, like I love the sun
Just seeing you can brighten the skies
You bring warmth to my life, and light to my eyes
But caressing my skin is just innocent fun

I love you, she said, in all these ways
And I'll love you forever to the last of my days
You're my favourite person in the whole wide world
But you have to accept that I only fancy girls.